OH. MY. GOD Jessica. Just look at how fat my ass has become. Just look! I used to be to be so thin and beautiful and now what? All I’m asking for is to settle down with rich, funny, young tom cat who treats me right but nobody will every love me looking like this. Guess you were right after all mom. Know what, Fuck it. Just bring me that 2nd bag of cat treats. And don’t skimp on the salmon this time, bitch.
This, Miranda, this is the only way I can accurately represent what you have done to me. Your daily bombardment of passive aggression and emotion brow-beating has entrapped me within a box of my own self-doubt. Now, if you have ever loved me, you will stay in there and think about that.
“I bet you think this is hilarious don’t you Harry? Well, you know what? This is exactly how I feel every time I think you’ve opened your heart to me; there’s your invisible force-field of lies, aggression and aloofness that just stops me getting through to you. And sooner or later, I’m just going to give up on you. Just like the world gave up on me”
I run, and I run, and I run, so that you may see me as but a fraction of the unequivocal beauty that I see you as, Janet. Alas, like Tantalus, I feel I may never feel the satisfaction of achievement and that this dream may always lie just beyond my grasp. Now, please just fetch my cheesecake and leave me be; drowning in the waters of ineptitude.
“Oh, this sure doesn’t look like the low-fat, non soy, gluten free, tuna flavour ice cream cake I asked for. But y’know, that’s fine. It’s not like this is my special day or anything; and it’s not like you purposely forgot to get what I specifically asked for 2 months ago just to undermine me and humiliate me at every turn. No, that not like you at all.”
“you’d think the train would just go straight through; straight through the gaping cavity where she tore out my still-beating heart; through the barren waste-land that is my chest; through me and straight out the other side like the white-hot intensity of her love… But alas, no. Physics is as cruel a mistress as Jenny was.”
“That’s it Percy, I give up on you. You don’t care about me OR my feelings. I’m just going to lie here and wait for the cold, encroaching arrival of sweet death. Or for somebody to rub my belly”
*sigh* “Oh, Linda. Your unceasing use of the word “irregardless” hurts me. It’s hurting the whole family. You just think Linda.”